Long over due.. again

So I ended up on the blog today, it has been forever. Last post was forever ago and post before that was forever ago. It is hard as life is so busy and and now that the girls are older, keeping up on the blog and their privacy makes it hard too. This really is a place for memories and today when I went through the blog it made me realize how special this space it. So I decided to update. 

We moved back home from Northern California in August of 2017. We were not happy up North, girls were great, they made GREAT friends and they adapted so well.  But it just was not a lifestyle for us. We missed home,  the beaches, my fav Fish place, bike rides along the coast, my green juice, fav yoga spot, our family and friends. We just wanted to be home. 

We got lucky and moved back in the old hood and girls back to their same schools. we got SO lucky, a great place with a ocean view, now I get to see that lovely ocean I missed so much everyday from my living room. It is pretty incredible. It wasn't easy, friendships change and girls in middle school and 5th grade can be fickle. :) It all worked out and we are home. Things are different but we are home and girls are better than ever. YAY!

We got a little crazy and decided to go to Europe in Summer 2018. It was INSANE and the best time of my life. My family in my favorite place. It was incredible. We went to Paris.

We went to Positano, Italy. An absolute dream of mine. That place is heaven on earth.

Damian's first trip to Europe and I am happy to announce he caught the travel bug. 

and we went to Rome. 

An alien

 and a "Fawn with Alice.. We celebrated Halloween and I dressed up. First time in forever.

Chloe is 11 now and a full on dancer. She can't get enough and she is so smart, caring,  just a sweeeet girl. That firecracker is a big girl now.

This sweet one is 14, plays volleyball, basketball and lacrosse. She is a smarrrrrt cookie too who loves Biology and Spanish. She is little grown up and she makes my heart so happy with the lady she has become.  Really.

I will do some back tracking  and filling in, but for today, I wanted to just give a little update. I didn't like that my last post left us up North.  My goal 9 years ago when I started this blog was to have a book made for the girls. I have to say it was one of the best decisions I ever made.  Looking back today had be crying and my heart aching for those slow days.. Also, here is a link to one of my favorite posts... HERE 

I took a TWO year hiatus??

What? 

HOW did I go 2 years without a post?

I really started to become conflicted about blogging..  I have become conflicted about alot in the last few years. I can remember turning 36 and for some reason.. started worrying about everything. Am I a good Mom? Am I eating too much meat? Am I a good wife? Are my kids involved in enough activities? Does my Instagram already have a post of my Avo toast?  Am I an introvert? An Extrovert? Should we buy a house? Am I a fun Mom? Do I nag my husband too much?

geesh..

Calm down.

So much happened in the last few years. We bought a house, sold it, bought a camper, sold it, went to Hawaii, my business took off and I was busy as could be, stressed as could be and running like crazy from volunteering, to client meetings, to coffee dates, lunch dates, to soccer practice, dance, working out at a fancy gym and going to hot yoga to try and relax in between.. 

We lived across the street from the beach and 

life really was awesome, busy but still awesome. 

Hubby gets an email one day with an amazing job opportunity in Nor Cal..

me, being the supportive "can handle anything" person says..

 GO.FOR.IT

(insert eyeroll here)

Hubby got this job and before I know it..

We MOVED.

Moved from our amazing home in our glorious neighborhood across the street from my favorite place.. the beautiful ocean. I left all my friends and my family and we took a HUGE leap.

I really had no idea how attached to this life I was. I have traveled the world, I love a road trip and I am a free spirit, always up or an adventure.. right? 

The real answer is? NOPE. Somewhere down the road.. that person was lost and I had no idea.

I called and reached out to everyone I could who had made a move, lived up North and I cried on the shoulders of all my girlfriends.. we had multiple wine nights, walks on the beach and parties all the way to the end.

Then we drove away with all our belongings shoved into a moving truck and our dog sitting shotgun.

We moved into our new home in the pouring rain and we were exhausted..

I told myself it was God's way of cleansing.. or something like that..

This move has been SO extremely hard.. I think I cried everyday for 2 months straight.

 It has also been extremely GOOD. 

It is like a reset button.

Pushing pause for a minute.

Slowing down.

Reflecting on our life.

Our family is closer than ever and we have been exploring this beautiful part of California any chance we get. I like to think I am teaching my girls about adventure, that change is good and necessary and that LOVE is what is most important. I have slowed down (not by choice but it is GOOD) Let's see if we can really make this place a home, or are we on a long vacation? We said we would give it 2 years. In the meantime, we will explore. Today, we will explore at the beach, not the beach we are used to but that is ok.

Bring it 2017...

I am ready for ya.
(kind of)

Half Moon Bay // Dec 31, 2016

Fawn Christiansen Photography on the COVER of San Diego Exquisite Weddings Magazine!

I pinch myself a lot.. This job of mine that I love is pretty amazing. When I think of the big steps I have taken, especially in the beginning.. it was SO scary.. More like the LEAPS I took... Announcing "I am a Photographer" then I remember my first PAYING gig.. oh. it was stressful.

But with practice, determination and not being afraid to go for it..

well.. it is pretty wonderful when a moment like this happens..

San Diego Exquisite Weddings Magazine hired me to shoot a 12 page editorial for their magazine with a POTENTIAL cover.

Well..

I got the cover and it is on newsstands now.

I mean??

really.

Seeing your work in print is beyond fabulous and walking into Barnes and Noble and seeing it, MY cover sitting all pretty.. all glossy and bright..

it is beyond surreal..

Man. I am one lucky girl.

Model: Megan Hawkins
Styling: Thorne Artistry
Florals: Bespoke
MUAH: King Cardoza
Dress: Sarah Seven

San Diego Exquisite Weddings Fall Issue | Fawn Christiansen Photography

I had the absolute HONOR of shooting a 12 page spread for the Fall issue of Exquisite Weddings Magazine. It was SO incredible. I still am in shock and teary as I think about the whole experience. The trust, the confidence and the support I feel from my Brides and the Industry are overwhelming. I don't know what I did to deserve all this amazing-ness... Thank you to everyone involved.. The talent behind this shoot was unreal. The vision of the editor, interviewing models, a stylist who puts the word STYLE in stylist, hundreds of thousands of dollars in wardrobe, flowers overflowing and diamonds sparkling.. It was an amazing dream.. 

You can purchase the magazine here

Styling : Thorne Artistry
Florals : Bespoke Occasions
Makeup/Hair: King Cardoza Studio

Big Sur 2014

we sat on this hilltop for 5 days.. no phones, no emails, no interruptions. it is our 3rd year camping in big sur as a family and it is SO good for my heart. like really, really good for it. life is a balancing act and it gets a bit crazy in the summer when my kids are home and my wedding season ramps up.. making time for quiet family time is a HUGE priority for me and every year.. i am smiling ear to ear as we float away from really for this short week.. and i am smiling ear to ear as we head home..

some amazing things are happening.. fawn christiansen photography

when i started this journey as a wedding photographer.. i had no idea what i was in for.. i think that is a good thing.. sometimes you just have to jump.. if you want it? JUMP! the net will appear and you will be fine.

couple weeks ago i was a part of something very fabulous and one of those "is this really happening moments".. my head is still in the clouds.. i will be sharing with you very soon... i have ants in my pants i am so excited..

it feels like it was a dream.. looking at this photo.. it looks like one too..

good things are happening friends.. really. really. wonderful. things..

sometimes..

sometimes when i am editing.. a photo just takes my breath way.. this is one of them.

and this one.. did it again.

happy friday.

so my littlest, she turned seven last month. we celebrated at disneyland. it was amazing. i just love her so much. being a mom is the hardest job EVER. kids make you love like you could never imagine. these girls teach me so much about myself, being vulnerable and accepting.. trusting that your emotions are what should lead you.. because after all, there is no manual to this gig.. you really lead with your heart. i do not know what i am doing, i just know i love them beyond words and i hope that is enough. 

motherhood is a crazy beautiful thing.

i am honored to be their mom

i have a wedding on saturday and plan on spending sunday paddle boarding and laying with my little family on the beach. there are a few amazing projects and new adventures awaiting me this week that i am so excited and honored to be a part of. it is a feel good kind of project. i love those kinds of projects so much.

the girls are officially out of school as of next week and i can not wait! we have some fun stuff planned, we are camping on the water in big sur this summer, visiting seattle, san francisco and doing a girls trip to LA! we will hike the hollywood sign, visit museums and lunch at the beverly hills hotel.. i cram as much as i can into the summer months, family time and travel are my ABSOLUTE favorite things in life. hands down. 

i don't want diamonds.. i want an adventure.

 i was at a friends house for a little bbq last week and she made these chocolate almond tarts, OMG.. they were divine.

get the recipe here.

am in love with this vertical plant wall. it is in new mexico. i have been sprucing up the backyard a bit preparing for summer entertaining.. i need to practice doing it more. i don't think this wall is happening, but a girl can dream, right?

image via pinterest

man, i love summertime. it is actually not here yet. but i can feel it. can't you?

happy friday!

waiting..

 i am in full swing wedding season right now and loving every second.. here are some of my favs from a recent wedding i am editing.. these are the photos that you can not plan.. they just happen and i am sure to be there.. waiting for them..
  and i smile REALLY big inside when i capture photos like these..

my story and a donation or two for those san diego firefighting heroes!

wednesday morning, i went for my usual run, died a little as it was super hot and it was tougher than usual, i came home guzzled water, took a shower, folded some laundry, took the dog on a walk, answered some overdue emails and headed out to trader joes to shop.. as i rounded the corner, i saw a huge plume of smoke right over the row of houses in front of me.. my heart sank, flipped, then flopped. right then, i got a call from a friend and she was in panic mode! worried about the kids and questioning, do we pull them out of school and where do we go? i just stared as this plume of smoke, with no words.. i was more in a foggy daze than in a panic... i turned right, towards the girls school as thankfully, they are only a 1 minute drive from home. I parked the car and wandered inside the school, there was no panic in the air.. nobody picking up their kids, just a few moms chit chatting and staring at this plume of smoke.. Like me, in a daze.  slowly cars began to pull up and you can see a bit of panic overcoming the school.  i wandered in the office and in in a crackly voice said I guess I'm pulling the girls out.. a rush of parents rushed the office, some calm, others beginning to freak out. i grabbed my girls and we headed out. makena was really worried and i assured both the girls we are fine. We are fine. We ARE fine. we went home, grabbed some stuff and headed south..  i called a friend who lives in a safe part of san diego and we headed there.. my phone was blowing up with texts, concerns and generous offers to help. it is amazing the support system we have as moms. people generously opening their homes. friends and family are what make life good when it's good and great when it's bad.
It is all a big, cloudy blur.. i watched the news, comforted the girls and prayed a lot on this wednesday.. So here we are friday morning, firefighters still fighting with all their might... we returned home yesterday and i drank some bubbly {usually a celebratory drink, but not on this smokey thursday} I drank with neighbor friends, we told out stories and expressed out fears. we watched the news updates from our phones and we were distracted for a bit. I was exhausted by 4pm as another fire flared up and another was contained, and then another one almost there.. That night, we ate dinner as a family and i took the dog for a walk by myself as my husband cleaned up dinner,  on my walk, in this quiet moment, i cried.. i looked at the gorgeous, purplish orange sunset and palm trees as they swayed so gracefully. . paradise was being burned to the ground, but somehow? I could feel a bit of calm in the air.. sort of a feeling of hope. i reflected on my wonderful support system, how we just "trust" that we will be protected by these heroes and  mostly, how all i cared about my family and friends being safe. in this crazy.. On Wednesday as we fled I didn't  care so much about  my "stuff".. It's actually a good feeling that i didn't! I just wanted to be safe with my loved ones.
 That's all.
my hard drive, some photos and my bag of camera gear, that's what I grabbed.
Memories.
life is what is precious.
hug your family tonight. I mean., really hug them. 

the amazing firefighters are still fighting their little hearts out and i am so greatful and want to give back.

we donated coffee, water and pantry items to our local fire station this morning.. but i want to do more.

i am donating a family photoshoot to TWO firefighter families..

please email me at weddings@fawnchristianen.com.

i will literally be pulling your name out of a hat once i have a good amount of names and things have calmed down.. but if you know of an amazing hero and want to submit his name.. email me.
 if you want to help.. here is a list of san diego fire station. pick your local one and do what you can.
http://www.sandiego.gov/fire/about/firestations/

 {this photo was taken off my facebook page and photo credit was lost in translation, please let me know if you know so i may credit}

my job..

"My job is to give you photos that will remind you why you had that damn expensive party in the first place" 

see a great article here.

 

when a wedding is done, it is bittersweet, i feel happy to give the images, happy when i get a response of gratitude and i love that i am providing something that couples will seriously have forever!! i mean, wedding photos are FOREVER, one of the only things that you really have forever from your special day.. {well, besides love, affection and an amazing best friend}

i have been working hard on the little touches.. your sweet package you get to hold in your hands of that amazing story..

the story of your wedding..

 

 

Jeter our Sheepadoodle

He is 15 weeks old already and he is so darn cute. He rings a bell to go potty and he sits on command. he also snuggles, whines and will run like the wind if a door is left open. He is awesome.

San Diego Exquisite Weddings Magazine

 So i shot my first editorial and it was for the awesome magazine San Diego Exquisite Weddings.. It is so surreal.. To see my work in a glossy hand held magazine is SO crazy cool! The fact they asked ME to shoot, pick the model AND location.. It is pretty nuts! This photog gig just keeps getting better and better!! It really is amazing what you can accomplish if you just go for it.. Don't be afraid of rejection and do what you get most excited about! What makes you tick.. You won't be disappointed.

Happy Wednesday lovelies.. xo-f

jeter.. the yankee or sheepadoodle

the latest addition to the family.. 

remember christmas morning when we surprised the girls with a dog bone in a box?

well he is finally ours and we are SO excited..

man, puppies are a lot of work but he is so smart and so eager to make you happy..

to play, cuddle and he hops like a bunny!

he is already loved so much.

he is a sheepadoodle and we named him jeter after the yankee, derek.

4500 pins and counting.

are you on pinterest?

i am!

follow me here!

 this photo i took of the lovely kalista and kyle on a sailboat has over 4500 pins.. 

see it here.. 

wowzers huh?

makes me smile real big.