sometimes..

sometimes when i am editing.. a photo just takes my breath way.. this is one of them.

and this one.. did it again.

happy friday.

so my littlest, she turned seven last month. we celebrated at disneyland. it was amazing. i just love her so much. being a mom is the hardest job EVER. kids make you love like you could never imagine. these girls teach me so much about myself, being vulnerable and accepting.. trusting that your emotions are what should lead you.. because after all, there is no manual to this gig.. you really lead with your heart. i do not know what i am doing, i just know i love them beyond words and i hope that is enough. 

motherhood is a crazy beautiful thing.

i am honored to be their mom

i have a wedding on saturday and plan on spending sunday paddle boarding and laying with my little family on the beach. there are a few amazing projects and new adventures awaiting me this week that i am so excited and honored to be a part of. it is a feel good kind of project. i love those kinds of projects so much.

the girls are officially out of school as of next week and i can not wait! we have some fun stuff planned, we are camping on the water in big sur this summer, visiting seattle, san francisco and doing a girls trip to LA! we will hike the hollywood sign, visit museums and lunch at the beverly hills hotel.. i cram as much as i can into the summer months, family time and travel are my ABSOLUTE favorite things in life. hands down. 

i don't want diamonds.. i want an adventure.

 i was at a friends house for a little bbq last week and she made these chocolate almond tarts, OMG.. they were divine.

get the recipe here.

am in love with this vertical plant wall. it is in new mexico. i have been sprucing up the backyard a bit preparing for summer entertaining.. i need to practice doing it more. i don't think this wall is happening, but a girl can dream, right?

image via pinterest

man, i love summertime. it is actually not here yet. but i can feel it. can't you?

happy friday!

waiting..

 i am in full swing wedding season right now and loving every second.. here are some of my favs from a recent wedding i am editing.. these are the photos that you can not plan.. they just happen and i am sure to be there.. waiting for them..
  and i smile REALLY big inside when i capture photos like these..

my story and a donation or two for those san diego firefighting heroes!

wednesday morning, i went for my usual run, died a little as it was super hot and it was tougher than usual, i came home guzzled water, took a shower, folded some laundry, took the dog on a walk, answered some overdue emails and headed out to trader joes to shop.. as i rounded the corner, i saw a huge plume of smoke right over the row of houses in front of me.. my heart sank, flipped, then flopped. right then, i got a call from a friend and she was in panic mode! worried about the kids and questioning, do we pull them out of school and where do we go? i just stared as this plume of smoke, with no words.. i was more in a foggy daze than in a panic... i turned right, towards the girls school as thankfully, they are only a 1 minute drive from home. I parked the car and wandered inside the school, there was no panic in the air.. nobody picking up their kids, just a few moms chit chatting and staring at this plume of smoke.. Like me, in a daze.  slowly cars began to pull up and you can see a bit of panic overcoming the school.  i wandered in the office and in in a crackly voice said I guess I'm pulling the girls out.. a rush of parents rushed the office, some calm, others beginning to freak out. i grabbed my girls and we headed out. makena was really worried and i assured both the girls we are fine. We are fine. We ARE fine. we went home, grabbed some stuff and headed south..  i called a friend who lives in a safe part of san diego and we headed there.. my phone was blowing up with texts, concerns and generous offers to help. it is amazing the support system we have as moms. people generously opening their homes. friends and family are what make life good when it's good and great when it's bad.
It is all a big, cloudy blur.. i watched the news, comforted the girls and prayed a lot on this wednesday.. So here we are friday morning, firefighters still fighting with all their might... we returned home yesterday and i drank some bubbly {usually a celebratory drink, but not on this smokey thursday} I drank with neighbor friends, we told out stories and expressed out fears. we watched the news updates from our phones and we were distracted for a bit. I was exhausted by 4pm as another fire flared up and another was contained, and then another one almost there.. That night, we ate dinner as a family and i took the dog for a walk by myself as my husband cleaned up dinner,  on my walk, in this quiet moment, i cried.. i looked at the gorgeous, purplish orange sunset and palm trees as they swayed so gracefully. . paradise was being burned to the ground, but somehow? I could feel a bit of calm in the air.. sort of a feeling of hope. i reflected on my wonderful support system, how we just "trust" that we will be protected by these heroes and  mostly, how all i cared about my family and friends being safe. in this crazy.. On Wednesday as we fled I didn't  care so much about  my "stuff".. It's actually a good feeling that i didn't! I just wanted to be safe with my loved ones.
 That's all.
my hard drive, some photos and my bag of camera gear, that's what I grabbed.
Memories.
life is what is precious.
hug your family tonight. I mean., really hug them. 

the amazing firefighters are still fighting their little hearts out and i am so greatful and want to give back.

we donated coffee, water and pantry items to our local fire station this morning.. but i want to do more.

i am donating a family photoshoot to TWO firefighter families..

please email me at weddings@fawnchristianen.com.

i will literally be pulling your name out of a hat once i have a good amount of names and things have calmed down.. but if you know of an amazing hero and want to submit his name.. email me.
 if you want to help.. here is a list of san diego fire station. pick your local one and do what you can.
http://www.sandiego.gov/fire/about/firestations/

 {this photo was taken off my facebook page and photo credit was lost in translation, please let me know if you know so i may credit}

my job..

"My job is to give you photos that will remind you why you had that damn expensive party in the first place" 

see a great article here.

 

when a wedding is done, it is bittersweet, i feel happy to give the images, happy when i get a response of gratitude and i love that i am providing something that couples will seriously have forever!! i mean, wedding photos are FOREVER, one of the only things that you really have forever from your special day.. {well, besides love, affection and an amazing best friend}

i have been working hard on the little touches.. your sweet package you get to hold in your hands of that amazing story..

the story of your wedding..

 

 

Jeter our Sheepadoodle

He is 15 weeks old already and he is so darn cute. He rings a bell to go potty and he sits on command. he also snuggles, whines and will run like the wind if a door is left open. He is awesome.

San Diego Exquisite Weddings Magazine

 So i shot my first editorial and it was for the awesome magazine San Diego Exquisite Weddings.. It is so surreal.. To see my work in a glossy hand held magazine is SO crazy cool! The fact they asked ME to shoot, pick the model AND location.. It is pretty nuts! This photog gig just keeps getting better and better!! It really is amazing what you can accomplish if you just go for it.. Don't be afraid of rejection and do what you get most excited about! What makes you tick.. You won't be disappointed.

Happy Wednesday lovelies.. xo-f

jeter.. the yankee or sheepadoodle

the latest addition to the family.. 

remember christmas morning when we surprised the girls with a dog bone in a box?

well he is finally ours and we are SO excited..

man, puppies are a lot of work but he is so smart and so eager to make you happy..

to play, cuddle and he hops like a bunny!

he is already loved so much.

he is a sheepadoodle and we named him jeter after the yankee, derek.

4500 pins and counting.

are you on pinterest?

i am!

follow me here!

 this photo i took of the lovely kalista and kyle on a sailboat has over 4500 pins.. 

see it here.. 

wowzers huh?

makes me smile real big.

cheese plates, good eyebrows and more of what i need.

so.. had a birthday, it was a good one. i am feeling older and wiser.. {that is my response when people ask BTW}.. but it really is true. i am in my 30's.. 

i really have started to reflect, analyze, worry, appreciate, not tolerate and love in a more passionate way. i have become more confident in myself physically but more importantly, emotionally. it's a work in progress. i am always trying to be more of everything. a better wife, mother, daughter, friend, photographer, chef..

 i rarely stop for me. i mean rare.ly.

i put together a little list of something i do when i have those rare stops.. {for me}

my friend raluca who's blog is rad and getting better with every stab at her keyboard..
she is always right on the money with what we need/should/want to chat about.

saturday she posted this article on her blog.

my top 3..

 #8 - use a retinoid if you are getting wrinkles

#13- stop beating yourself up over every little thing

#43- take a social media diet. 

{i took facebook off my phone a few months ago. just another distraction to the beautiful life right in front of me, it felt great to do, don't miss it}

i love cheese. i mean i really love cheese. put a cheese plate and glass of wine in front of me and i am a happy girl. love this post on how to put one together yourself.. why do we pretend we can't have this at home? date night or watching the oscar's with you girlfriends.. we should know how to do a cheese plate at our casa!

this mario badescu vitamin c serum is amazing and i love it with all my heart. i put it on a few nights a week and my skin is shiny and refreshed in the morning. i love it and am happy i decided to listen to all the hootin' and hollarin' about it backstage on all the supermodels..

i may not be a supermodel but i definitely want to know their secrets.

:)

 last week i went in for my usual grooming of the eyebrows and it really is so amazing HOW much better i feel when my eyebrows are done. it's like i am smarter, funnier, taller, thinner and having a great hair day all at once..

so easy to do. don't forget to maintain ladies. it is huge.

somedays i really need a bubble bath. i use lavender epsom salt. it smells divine and i am relaxed and detoxified..

everyone wins. a bubble bath is like meditating. that quiet time is priceless and worth a million dollars.

don't i wish i was taking it here?!

oh man. that would be amazing but my little tub here at home does me wonders.. i'll take it.
my worries wash away.. even if just for a moment..
:)

 ok so this candle. it instantly makes me smile. it is so wonderful. 

i have one upstairs, downstairs and a few piled up in my closet for gifts/back ups. it is heavenly. i used to be a fruity kinda gal and it recently changed when i smelled this candle. this is a must try.

basically, i have learned taking care of yourself with just the smallest effort makes a huge difference and realizing that has done a ton for allllll of us. running a house, a business and all the in betweens {lacrosse, soccer guitar, tennis and homework to name a few} is crazy town and i wouldn't have it any other way.. but with some indulgences here and there.. 

we all win.

photo credits 1 2 3 4 5 6

moments you don't see..

 i love the prep part of a wedding day.. the nervous excitement, the giggles, the champagne, the deep breathes.. it is a crucial part of your story.. it is my job to capture it for you and give you the gift of seeing what you didn't.. here is a small collection of some of my favorites..

2014 is already off and running..

i had a sneaking feeling this was going to be a good year.. i am just feeling it.. positive, blessed, greatful and sort of just.. calm..

it's good. real. good.

 i have some great projects on the horizon, a couple tweaks coming to my branding and some fabulous brides i am ready to rock and roll with!! 

today.. i shot an editorial for san diego exquisite weddings magazine..

i of course can not share any detailed photos but on the ol' social media train.... there were some fun sneak peeks of me in action.. stay tuned guys.

april's issue is going to be rad.

last night.

this gorgeous girl. the one who made me a mom. she has taught me so much. so much about love and life.

last night as i checked on her before i went to bed she stirred as i lifted her blanket over her shoulders as i do every night.. i gave her a kiss on the forehead and while half asleep she said,

 "mom, i want to snuggle".. so i climbed in bed with her to snuggle.. 

she whispers " i love you mom"..  

i just wanted to record that.. i want to remember it forever.

it was so special.. SO incredibly special.

christmas morning photo.

after many stories written about puppies, conversations about when "i am 18, i will buy a puppy", after the hints about how much we would "LOVE" a puppy.. 

we decided to give in.. 

we surprised the girls with a puppy for christmas. well.. it was actually a box of dog bones because our little guy {or girl} isn't born yet..

but the girls were over the moon..

and. i captured it. 

this is my favorite photo ever.

their little faces on christmas morning.

it was amazing.

i never want this magic to end.

cheers to 2013.

so today is the last day of 2013.. this year was a doozey, many big moments. makena turned 9. chloe turned 6. we bought a house. we celebrated our 11 year wedding anniversary.. chloe started playing the guitar and makena competitive soccer, we took on the commitment of buying a family dog! {still not born but he/she is on her way} my career goals last year were to be published in a magazine and i am shooting my first editorial soon as well as a real wedding i shot will be published in print too, i was featured on real simple magazine which was umm.. HUGE! my photography has taken me to places i can't believe.. life is good.. not perfect but many perfect moments.. i have done a ton of reflecting this year. a lot of searching and getting all crazy about the "meaning of life and why it is going so fast". figuring myself out a bit. i have learned to imbrace imperfections and accept others faults. {my own as well} last year i said i do not make new years resolutions but i changed my mind.. this years are to just "BE PRESENT".. "DO NOT OVERTHINK".. and to "SLOW DOWN".. to just enjoy everyday. calmly. :) here is an imperfect family photo.. it is blurry, nobody is looking.. and as usual, chloe is being crazy.. BUT. we are all laughing, we are happy.. we are being real. and that is why a big part of me just loves it. .. cheers to 2014.. and.. it being AWESOME!